The ticks and suckers among us

Someone asked me recently if I think there might be an inflation of advisors these days. Never, I said. Of  real ones? Never!

I know perfectly well  I shouldn’t be the one to throw the stone… not because I live in a glass house, but because I live in a nice house and I’m enjoying a great life, thanks in part to a very lucrative and efficient activity of training, coaching, mentoring and teaching that I’ve done over the last 10 years.  And since the success of my clients directly reflects my own success, prosperity and well-being, I would modestly say I’m really proud of their very good results.

I know quite a few people who work in the same field and whom I respect highly. Anyone who is genuinely interested in taking part in the never ending process of human development (on any level and any regard) and who is investing time, knowledge and energy into that, has a strong partner in me and my whole-hearted support. I would never pass on a good piece of advice. Neither on a hug from a close friend. Nor on a good cup of my favorite coffee. Sometimes they might even have the same refreshing effect. But there is an enormous difference between a “sincere” talk with a well-intended guy on a bench in the park and a real process of coaching, mentoring or teaching for personal development. The difference is mainly in the quality of the process, qualifications of the “giver” and therefore the efficiency of the methods and tools put to work, and bottom line, the results/progress the client is paying for.

 I recently came across the website of a so-called life coach (let’s call her Kathy), a very sad representation of a, otherwise, probably well-intended lady who is not only offering some sort of unification with the client, but also recommends among “The Secret” (which is no longer one) and others, a fascinating title: “Beating Lyme Disease Book”. I’m not kidding you. Would she be among the 15% of untreated patients who display acute neurological problems or a simple altered mental status which sometimes comes as a symptom of the disease? Don’t you find the pointing to a tick-borne disease on such a site almost ironic? That being said with all the compassion for the unfortunate real sufferers out there, of course…Undoubtely, just by breaking free of that common major threat  of a disease, one’s life can improve drastically. But if you work on your time management skills in the same time and boost your self esteem while contemplating the misery of horrible skin rashes, you got yourself a deal!

Just to be sure it’s all clear: while I encourage charity and the offering of free services, (I make time for free sessions as well every month), I consider it a shame (even a danger for the uninformed public) to disguise yourself in a counselor, a coach or a mentor,  just by slapping a label on your forehead.  It just doesn’t hold. It makes you look like a spitted cherry stone trying to wear a grocery bag as a tight top. It’s too big of a hat (or top) the one they try to fill up. Such people use a very honorable profession as a surrogate for their unfound meaning and image of self and a very sad excuse for their own  profession. Not to mention it can be downright offensive to the ones who make it brilliantly, with authentic wisdom and undeniable talent and who manage to literally leave the world a better place.  

Conclusion: Keep in mind there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Or a free session of any sort. Even if you’re not writing down a check, you still pay with your most valuable resource: your time! So it only makes sense if you are still getting results. Otherwise, the whole process it’s as useful as a crocheted air-freshener cozy.

 I would think twice before trusting personal issues and serious matters in the shaky hands of someone who doesn’t manage to follow the line of her own lips with a lipstick, for crying out loud! I hope she’s being coached (at least) on that one.